Writers tend to write about what intrigues, mystifies, terrifies, or inspires them. I’m no exception.
It’s one thing to use lessons from one’s own life experience. Quite another to use someone else’s life experience as inspiration. Even when I write about my own life experience, I’m always well aware other people are a part of that experience, but I can always fall back on the knowledge that I’m writing about the experience from my own point of view.
The problem with writing based on inspiration from someone else’s experience is walking the line between drawing inspiration and invading someone’s privacy. A writer needs to delve into an issue fully to write about it well whether sending a message or writing purely for entertainment. This sometimes skirts someone else’s feeling of privacy and/or ownership of an experience. Writers, therefore, need to be cognizance of the words they use but still use them without fear.
Recently, I wrote a piece of flash fiction that was inspired by emotions I’d felt when confronted with my friend becoming a widow. I’ve spoken of her bravery in putting herself and her feelings on display. I didn’t hesitate to write the story because I knew it wasn’t about her directly. I wrote about what I imagine it must feel like when one’s spouse dies. A fear most of us have on some level or the other.
Several years ago I wrote a short story about a woman who learns she can’t have children and then goes to the mall where she’s tormented by seeing mothers with their children everywhere she turns. This story was inspired by a friend telling a story of some mothers lashing out at a woman in a store who wondered aloud why everyone brought their children to the mall. Since no one knew the lady’s back story, it made me wonder how those women would’ve reacted if they’d known the woman was in pain instead of assuming she was aiming criticism at them. I created a situation I felt would make people sympathetic to my character for her outburst while reminding people they don’t always know where someone else is coming from - in fact we rarely do even if we think we do.
I take inspiration from the people around me to create a whole new story. I’ve done this many times in my writing in both large and small ways. Writing comes from life and reflects the lives we live. Hopefully, it also inspires and enhances the lives we live.
Whenever I take inspiration from someone else’s experience, there’s always a moment or two or sometimes three or four when I wonder how the person I took inspiration from will react to the story. I won’t allow that to stop me from writing the story or to influence the story, but I often think about it after the story is complete. Some people see themselves in everything their friends write and some people never do even if it’s clear to everyone else that’s who the person is.
The truth is writers get their ideas from life, from the experiences they have, and the stories friends share with them. We can’t help it. Life is the truth we live and that’s the truth we must put into words. I encourage writers to be responsible when using friends and family members anecdotes as inspiration but don’t let fear of other people’s reaction stop them from writing what’s in their hearts. I also encourage people not to worry about sharing their stories with writer friends. While the story may show up in some piece of work someday, it’s unlikely to be recognizable even to you and especially not to others.
Inspiration and willingness to explore the complexities and simplicities of life are the jewels the writer always has in his or her arsenal. The writer must use them.